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Camworld Insights


Sigh.

I miss camming. I miss camming on iFriends.

Browsing through the site and my friends’ profiles and archives, I feel positively *nostalgic*. I miss being alone in my studio apartment *working it*. I miss the thrill of never knowing what the night would bring. I miss checking my stats and seeing the money add up. I miss performing a one-on-one service. I miss PERFORMING. I even miss the boredom of sitting around waiting for customers. I miss the comradery I had with other camgirls. I miss hearing men’s voices and secrets. I miss feeling like I was doing a good job. I miss knowing I made one person at a time feel good. I miss the duality of solitude and connection. I miss the gamble of that being my sole source of income. I miss the feeling of discovery.

I’ve never felt this longing for a job or period of time in my life before. It’s not that I want to be where I was six years ago or that I don’t love what I do now (running our own paysites) but I do want to recapture certain elements of that old life when it was new, and I think getting back to doing private shows and phone sex would refresh me. I guess I remember that as a focused time in my life when things were simpler and less convoluted. I didn’t have as many choices for what to do with my time to make money, and my customers made so many decisions for me. There was a bigger adrenaline rush to the whole thing. Now I have such a variety of duties and ideas and possibilities and to-do’s and scattered half-finished projects I feel overwhelmed and have a hard time motivating myself and making efficient decisions.

I realize that these are stupid things to complain about, and that if I want to start camming again I can . . . right now. But I love the bed I’ve made for myself and I wouldn’t slow my progress to sit around in an empty chatroom trying to build up regulars just to satisfy some silly sentimental escapist notions.

The only reason I’m posting this is to give people an idea of how addictive this kind of work can be. It makes you feel a certain way that I don’t think any other job can. It feeds your ego, it feels like a total gamble (because you NEVER KNOW how much money you will or won’t make or how much traffic you’ll have), and you hear things from other people that you will never ever EVER hear anywhere else. Oh sure, you might hear stories and confessions and all kinds of stuff as a reporter or therapist or priest, but you won’t be hearing them in the context of sex work as they are openly masturbating and that makes all the difference in the world.

As a camgirl you put on a spectacularly cheap and convincing charade. In that little 320×240 window a girl with acne scars can appear to have flawless skin. A thick girl can be a goddess. Get just the right camera angle and D cup boobs become giant EE’s. Donning a cheap pair of supermarket pantyhose can earn you more lucrative adoration than the most expensive pair of Wolford tights you could find. They have one window into a world you created, pointed at one tidy corner of a room, and you close that window when the show is over. You have complete control over that little space and even though it’s tiny, it takes over the customer’s entire field of vision. It can take over YOUR OWN. You can let yourself think that if you’re good in that 320×240, if you LOOK good and you smile and you earn your money and they thank you and promise to come back for more next time, that you may as well be perfect, and the laundry piling up doesn’t exist, the unwashed dishes are meaningless, and huffing down a bowl of top ramen is all the sustenance you need. All you have to do is make enough money to pay your rent and buy your next cheap pair of pantyhose and maybe a shiny $12 bargain slimvibe. Nobody has to know that your hair is greasy and that you spent six hours laying in bed watching Forensic Files today. You don’t have to be ambitious, you just have to look good when you turn that cam on and you’re 320 pixels high. And that’s easy. Even if you’re ugly you will find someone out there who will pay you to be ugly JUST FOR THEM. And they’ll tell you you’re beautiful. And pay you. It’s a thrill you never get over. You might need a break from it but a week, a month, a year or five years down the line YOU WILL MISS BEING A WHORE, 320×240.

CLICK HERE to browse the babes in their boxes.

Note: viewers are no longer limited to 320×240 windows — the quality of feeds has improved dramatically since I started camming in 2000. Some chathosts even broadcast in HD, and there are a few who offer multiple-cam angles and even 3D.

I ran across CANT-GET-ENOUGH browsing through the “assplay” archives on iFriends:

construction cone up ass

I had to wonder if she *really* had the tip of the cone up her ass, or if she was faking it (a lot of girls MAKE their living on faking anal — there are all kinds of tricks for making fake anal look real but I’ll save those for another entry). I decided to check out her fanclub and archives to see if there were any pics proving she does indeed insert Very Large Things anally.

miniskirt no panties

Hmmm, well that looks innocent (and tight) enough . . . I had to look further for proof:

huge dildo up ass

Wow. Things are looking more authentic. Is that a baguette up her butt?

wine bottle in ass

Well, that wine bottle is easily identifiable . . . can you imagine if your waiter brought the bread and wine to your table this way? I ran out of hands to carry your foodstuffs; would you be so kind as to remove your wine bottle from my ass? The “no hands” photos indicate to me that she’s definitely got these things stuffed INSIDE her butt, no faking . . . no fooling.

nerf football in ass

I think it might surprise a lot of people how popular extreme bizarre penetrations are with some folks. A lot of guys absolutely THRILL at seeing people stick household items in holes. I definitely appreciate the appeal of unusual items, though I have a harder time appreciating the REALLY BIG household items, particularly up the ass. Anyway, there’s quite a demand for chicks who do extreme penetration, and even more of a demand for chicks who do DP (double penetration). Here you see all of these exciting elements combined:

DP with cucumber

DP with flashlight

Doing this kind of stuff HAS to take a toll on your body, though, and these photos of her empty gaping asshole show the kind of damage she’s inflicting on her butthole:

used and abused asshole

Here’s one of those anal-gaping shots I absolutely abhor (but are all the rage amongst many extreme ass fans):

extreme anal gaping

Sidenote: I find it mortifying that no one will process payments for my menstruation fetish site, but extreme anal penetrations are perfectly acceptable in the porn world. You can do this stuff to your ass on iFriends, but you can’t masturbate while you’re having your period: how fucking ridiculous is that?

I think it’s really scary when you get to the point where you don’t even recognize what you’re looking at as normal genitals:

alien pussy and ass

After looking at all of these pictures of this chick’s holes stuffed and gaping, I took a look at her biography and appreciated how honest and genuine she sounds. Her answers to those questions do something important: they humanize her, which I think is *especially* important when it comes to extreme porn (and those penetrations she does are definitely EXTREME). It’s important to remember that a woman like this is more than a gaping asshole AND that she does this as a job like many other manual laborers do in even more physically demanding, damaging, and dangerous ways.

Browse live webcam listings on Ifriends now.

Watching a girl performing a show the other day I suspected she was on some kind of upper. She had a darling face and engaging personality, sort of a cross between Brigitte Bardot and Charo, but she was all over the place. The video stream couldn’t keep up with her rapid jerky movements. She was trying to be sexy but had no attention span so it was just one bump, grind, and pose to another with no smooth or sultry transition. She was frenetic, not seductive.

I happened to remark on this in another chatroom and one of the viewers knew exactly who I was talking about, saying that yeah — she seemed to be on speed and he avoided her shows.

*****

On another day I related how impressed I am with a particular camgirl with her own site who does a *buttload* of free shows for her members, some of them going on longer than five hours. When I read about how much camming she was doing, I was bowled over (as were many people) since it’s hard to do that much camming without getting burned out. At least part of the secret of her success was revealed to me by another viewer who mentioned that he observes her drinking . . . a lot . . . throughout her shows.

*****

I know a number of my closest friends (my boyfriend being one of them) never cam without using some kind of mind-altering substance. Wine, weed, speed . . . whatever. They have their own preferences.

You have to wonder if they do this simply because they can, because they work at home and can freely combine work with their drug(s) of choice (and would use them if performing a straight job if drug-use were permitted), or if it’s because they *need* them in order to do their jobs. Does the job simply attract addicts or does it MAKE them?

Drugs (like alcohol) are often social lubricants, so it makes sense for sex workers to use them; we have to be social and we have to be . . . lubricated, if you will. Of course they also reduce our inhibitions, allowing us to do things we might be uncomfortable doing sober. If society were less sexually inhibited would fewer of us rely upon drugs to do our sex work? Would we need sex workers at all if society were less sexually inhibited?

*****

Tons of people have written about how stripping and substance abuse go hand in hand, and have explored the pair’s causes, effects, and vicious circles. While I think sex workers probably do have more issues with substance abuse and addictions, and that some of those issues are related to the way sex work is done and how it’s perceived, I doubt that our problems with drugs and alcohol are much more serious than the straight-world’s problems with drugs and alcohol. The problems with drugs/alcohol are serious across the board.

Still, the lifestyle we have combines a lot of freedom with fringe-dwelling; we’re independent (or at least independent contractors) and we’re often removed from polite company to the point of being socially isolated or operating on the fringes where more people self-medicate than do those in the world of white picket fences.

Of course, there are plenty of camgirls who work at home and LIVE in white-picket-fenced neighborhoods, but in their bedrooms and basements (wherever they do their shows or phone sex) they are ALONE in a place their neighbors don’t see or realize exists right next door to them. These webwhores don’t exchange conversation over the fence or tea with the cul de sac’s other housewives regarding the hours they spend fucking themselves with spatulas, shampoo bottles, and cucumbers on cam for strangers. That kind of social isolation, the kind where you’re surrounded by people who don’t know anything about your daily life (but would probably judge you harshly if they did), is almost more lonely than not talking to anyone at all.

A chick posted on a porn webmaster board to announce, “As of yesterday I’m full time Cam girl! Goodbye corporate job! ”

It’s not her announcement I find interesting since “she” probably is not a real webwhore in the first place; what I find interesting is the way these “adult webmasters” respond to the idea of a woman making a living as a webwhore. Here are a few of the gems:

who in their right mind thinks of ‘camgirl’ as a career?

First of all, she never said it was a “career”, but even if she did I find it bizarre that anyone would object to the label. Some people make more-than-decent livings as camwhores. The sad truth of it is that this person’s objection to her calling camming a “career” has nothing to do with whether or not she can make money at it, but their own fucked up judgements against sex workers.

excelent career move there hahaha

What hapens in 5 years when nobody wants to jack off to you any more?

Ahhh, and there we have the other portion of the equation regarding “why webwhoring is not a career” according to idiots: because there couldn’t possibly be any long-term future in it. We will become old, ugly and unattractive and “nobody will want to jack off to us anymore”. People who say that have no fucking clue what people will pay to jack off to. Oh, it is true that there’s a larger market for the young nubiles, but there is still a large market for women over 25, over 35, over 45, and so on. What we lose in tightness we gain in experience points — as a sex worker that often counts for more than youth and ignorance.

might not be your dream career, but with 7-8 k monthly income she’d making 10 times more than the average GFYer 😉

Ahh, a SANE remark by someone who recognizes that an ambitious camgirl’s earning potential is much greater than that of most of the asshat “adult webmasters” in this porn industry forum making stupid remarks. But oh, look at the retarded rejoinder from this dicksmoker:

That’s nice, we can also make 10k+ a month selling drugs, what’s your point. Nobody sane or intelligent or high class would ever leave a corporate job to do porn, that’s just pathetic.

According to this guy it may be a viable job, but it’s pathetic, insane, stupid and low-class comparable to being a drug seller and vastly inferior to working for someone else who caps your earnings, tells you when to come to work and when to leave and what to do. Yeah, you’d have to be a real trashy dumb-ass to give THAT up!